Our own rules
by SamSloan27
Summary: Derek Morgan is Penelope Garcia's teacher. What happens when they fall for each other? Will they be able to keep it a secret? How does Derek react when Penelope goes through the biggest trial in her life? Will he be able to help her? First fan fiction. Please read and review. Disclosure: I do not own anything about Criminal Minds.
1. Chapter 1

The look in his eyes made me realize his intentions, they were the farthest thing from pure. The look of lust and desire in his eyes surprised and excited me. I am not exactly the prom queen, I am about 250 pounds and at the illegal age of 17; but there was no escaping that longing in his eyes. The way his hand moves back and forth on his pants, almost as if he was trying to hide his thought process. I know it's wrong, I know the ungodly thoughts going through my mind couldn't lead anywhere other than trouble for the both of us. But I couldn't help what I was thinking, even with every other girl sitting in this classroom, it was like we were in our own little world, where we had our own language and our own rules. I was not used to receiving the look of desire that was reflecting in his eyes, it was exhilarating, flattering, and I had to check around to my peers and make sure that no one else noticed.

Now don't start to think the worst of me just yet. He is not married, he does not have any kids, and I will be 18 in a mere 4 months. I have run these thoughts through my head at least 32 times in the past two weeks trying to justify the butterflies in my stomach when it is time for his class. So far it makes me feel less guilty and helps me sleep better at night. However, it is not until night time that I rid of that deep longing in my gut, the one that I cannot hide from. The one I have been trying to hide from for a month now, thinking that the lingering glances were in my imagination. However, one day when the comments on my returned assignment had some subtle unprofessional comments like "nice outfit for spirit week," and "good work but I still think there are a few things you need to learn from me." Little things that could be completely overlooked by a normal eye, that is until I looked up and saw the redness in his cheeks and the subtle, yet definite wink that followed. This continues for most of the year, every once in a while there was the casual extra five minutes that I would spend fidgeting with my books in class, having to stay behind everyone else after class was released, which was led to his hand lightly directing the small of my back out of the classroom.

Fast forward to June, I am 18 now and have lost a good 50 pounds. And what do you know? But Sr. Morgan happened to be chaperoning the summer trip abroad that I had signed up for before taking his class. The night before the trip a million emotions ran through me. I just kept reading and rereading the email sent out by Sr. Morgan the night before about plans for the following twenty days. There were just boring agenda and preparation points, until the very end where he had sent attachments for everyone separately, going over little questions he may have about our parents role in the trip, or about the amount of spending money, or even discussing his concerns about whether or not our Spanish skills were strong enough for the part of Spain we were going to. I was expecting the basic procedures, hoping for a comment about being sufficient enough to not have to worry about my language skills, which was all there. Only in the end of the email was a note that said I am so excited to get to know you on a more personal level. I have had such an amazing time getting to know you this year, your intelligence and maturity far exceeds my expectations. I hope that I have made an impression on you as well, time will tell ;). See you tomorrow, Sr. Morgan.

I couldn't stop reading this. I knew I shouldn't have read as much into as I did, but at this point I was certain I was not making these feelings up in my head. There was no way this wasn't happening for him too. This trip was going to be the best time of my life, and all I had to do was act innocent until the time was right.


	2. Chapter 2

When I arrived to Starbucks in the airport, where the email had said we were meeting the night before, I was relieved. I had woken up early and needed my morning coffee fix in order to function during a day of travel. late I was a little early, so while I sat drinking my chai tea latte and waiting for the rest of the group to get there, I wasted time scrolling through my newsfeed on twitter seeing all of Sr. Morgan's posts the night before talking about how excited he was to get out of the states for a while. His selfies were hilarious and ridiculous most of the time, but I couldn't help the butterflies that took flight every time I saw them. He was something special and there was no denying it.

The first person to show up was one of my best friends, Trina. She was rolling her eyes, mouthing the words save me while her mom was tailing her and talking her ear off about safety and the importance of sunscreen. I couldn't help myself from muffling a giggle as Trina's mom was becoming the overprotective and overbearing mother she always swore she would never be. Trina, thank goodness, is a coffee freak like me so she made her order and we sat and chatted about how excited we were to finally have the chance to become fluent in Spanish. I then let her babble a little about her goal in meeting a gorgeous foreign man to sweep her off of her feet and give her a reason to never come home. I nodded, smiled, and pretended like I was looking for a young hunk for myself as well. Only I wasn't, I was looking at what was right in front of me, literally, in that moment I looked up and there he was.

There were so many special and insanely hunky features about the man in front of me. He was the height of about 6'1, had dark chocolaty skin, muscles that are every girl's dream, and had an intriguing smile that did not come as often as I always hoped. He was everything that an eighteen year old girl would swoon over, an attractive and cultured 25 year old Spanish teacher. This is not something I do, I don't go fan-girling or drooling over the attractive teacher. It makes you look stupid and immature. But to me, there was something about him that I could not shake. There was something deeper and just so real about him. Not to mention that he could speak Spanish and French fluently, that can always sweep a girl off of her feet.

He gave me a knowing smile as he walked up to the group of girls behind Trina and I that must have accumulated without me realizing.

"Hey girls," he said as he took his jacket off,

"I hope you are all as excited as I am. Now sadly, as I had mentioned in my email last night, Ms. Napes, the other chaperone for this trip, was unable to join us due to the most recent case of the flu. But I think we will be just fine. The dean has been notified and since there are only 10 of you, and there will be other chaperones in Spain itself, there is no reason that this has to set us back. I am going to get in line and get a cup of coffee, when I come back over we will start heading over to the lines to do baggage checks."

As Sr. Morgan was heading for the line, I couldn't help but notice the glance he had made back to me when he didn't think I would be looking. He tried to cover himself by looking around at the rest of the group and quickly turning back around. When he finally got his coffee, black with two sugars, we were all on our way to baggage check. I was rooming with Trina on the trip, the other girls paired off, and Sr. Morgan conveniently received his own room, one of the perks of being a chaperone for a trip with only girls. After the longest day of travel I have ever experienced, we finally arrived at the hotel in Spain. We were all pretty exhausted so we spilt up into our different rooms and decided to call it a night. I couldn't help but dream about Sr. Morgan and all of the possibilities of this trip.

The next morning we started our first tour day of Spain, hitting most of the touristy places to get them out of the way before our tour guide took us to the locations that were actually interesting. Before I knew it, that day was over and we were back in the hotel room exhausted and ready for bed. Only at about 11, Trina started to feel sick. The pork she had eaten that day had tasted off and sure enough in no time she was in the bathroom seeing it again. I staggered my way out of my bed, put my slippers on, and ran my hands through my hair before grudgingly walking down the hall to Sr. Morgan's room. Normally this would excite me or make nerves build up in my stomach, only I was too tired and jetlagged to care how I looked at this point. All I knew was I needed a good night's sleep.

When I knocked on his door and heard the words "What in the hell?" coming from his room, I assumed he was about as awake as I was. When he finally, I am guessing, got dressed into something appropriate and opened the door, he was confused and worried when he saw me. I calmly explained to him what was going on and he begrudgingly made his way to my bathroom where he did his best to comfort Trina. He sent me to go to the nurse on call for our trip to stay with her for the rest of the night. This led to me potentially not having a place to sleep. When Sr. Morgan realized this, we were both too tired to come up with any solutions. He said that just for that night it shouldn't be a big deal for me to stay in the second bed in the room he was staying in. Even though I knew this shouldn't have been a big deal to me, I couldn't fight the excitement and flush I got thinking about it. I quickly grabbed my blanket and followed him back to his room.

The room looked like the rest of ours, decently sized with two queen beds, a desk, a dresser with a TV inside of the top drawers, and his suitcase opened, and partially flowing out in the corner of the room. I quickly made my way to the bed of the far end of the room and laid down. I could hear him rustling with his clothes before settling down, he was obviously not used to have to sleep with sweats on. I began to slowly build of the courage and muttered in a slight whisper,

"You don't have to dress in any special way for my sake."

I immediately began to regret this and followed it with,

"All I mean is I can't see you in the dark anyways, if you are uncomfortable wearing what you have on, it won't affect me at all if you take it off."

I was so happy he could not see me at this point. There was a lingering silence in which I had made the decision that I would pretend like I was asleep and unaware of what was coming out of my mouth. We were both tired, I could wake up tomorrow and mention that I talk in my sleep which would lead him to believe that I did not know what I had said. Only right when I had made this decision, I heard a mutter and a chuckle from the other end of the room. This was followed by rustling and a plop, looking over I realized he had taken my advice and his sweats and sweatshirt were now at the foot of his bed.

I tried to roll over and go to sleep but I could hear my heart beating through my tee, I think he could too. About an hour later I had finally gotten my heartbeat and my libido under control when I heard him get up to go to the bathroom, I couldn't help but subtly open the flashlight app on my phone to sneak a look. I grabbed my book to make it look like I couldn't fall asleep. He was almost to the door when the light finally went on. I could see his bare back muscles in all of his glory, looking down I could see the way his boxer shorts fit just tight enough, and how tone his leg muscles were. Yep, I was screwed.

When he came back out of the bathroom he had made a comment about how hot it was and asked me to lean over to my side of the room and turn the air on. I did as he said, and when I turned back around quicker than he expected me to, I was surprised with the image of Sr. Morgan changing his boxers. I froze, didn't make a move, there was no way in hell I was going to let him catch me staring. My heartbeat started to race again and I could do nothing but lay there in admiration. He had the body of a god, and there was no way in hell, I realized at that moment that he liked a girl like me. I am quirky, too loud, and about 7 sizes too big. There was no way this man could want anything to do with me, I read into everything. Now here I am laying in his room like an idiot, peeping while he changes his boxers. What was wrong with me? I was acting like a stupid school girl, the one thing I never wanted to be. He turned around after he was finished changing into his fresh shorts, winked at me, said goodnight, and got back into bed.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day during our tour we had to split up into two groups of five. Sr. Morgan came with our group, while the tour guide for the trip went with the other. We all met up for lunch afterwards. At the end of the day, we were all ready to call it a night again. My roommate still felt ill so Sr. Morgan just made the decision that I would stay in his room for the rest of the trip, it was just easier. I would get up and go to Trina's room to shower since it was just across the hall.

That second night I had been getting out of the shower when I realized I had left my t shirt for the night in Sr. Morgan's room on accident. I yelled for Trina, but soon remembered that she had gone on the optional grocery store trip with some of the other girls. I also remembered that Sr. Morgan had gone on the same run, so I took my chances. I got out of the shower, wrapped up in the towel as much as I could and ran across the hall to the room I was sleeping in. Only when I got there, the towel had caught on the door and I momentarily flashed Sr. Morgan's room. I cursed under my breath and struggled to wrap the towel back around my large bust when I heard a man clear his throat.

I looked up to find Sr. Morgan staring at me paralyzed. I finished wrapping myself in the thin cotton material and failed to make eye contact with my teacher for what felt like an eternity. I finally built up the courage to look at him and attempt to explain myself. I expected to look up and see a horrified and disgusted look on his face only that is not what happened at all. When I looked up, his eyes were almost in awe, I saw a deep shade of lust I had never seen on any man's face when looking at me. I didn't know what to say or do, I was completely and utterly hypnotized by how beautiful his eyes were. All of a sudden there wasn't a need for an explanation, we just stood there in each other's presence until he took a step forward.

I finally left my trance and began to speak,

"I am so sorry Sr. Morgan, I can explain… I left my…"

"Shhhhhh." He interrupted.

"Just shhh, let me just look at you for a second. You... you're..."

Oh god here it was, the moment I knew was coming, he was going to tell me how disgusted he was, how this was completely ridiculous and that I needed to knock next time. Only that's not what his eyes said. And that is not the next thing that came out of his mouth.

"You're beautiful, even more so than I imagined."

He had imagined me? I mean I know I always hoped he had but I swore it was all in my head.

"Damn it Penelope, you don't understand how you make me feel, you don't understand what you do to me."

He slowly began to walk forward, almost as if asking my permission for every step until I could finally feel his breath on my face.

"Baby girl if you don't stop me now, I don't think I will ever be able to. Tell me now if this makes you uncomfortable."

I couldn't say or do anything. In that moment my hand involuntarily moved towards the door and turned the lock. That was it, this was his invitation. Before I knew what was happening his lips were on mine. My mind went numb, this is what I have always pictured, and he is everything I have always imagined he would be. I felt his hands on my waist, his lips on mine, and nothing else, every other part of me was numb. I was floating on a cloud of endless lust. I didn't know what was happening until I felt the bed underneath my back. The next thing I knew, his hand was grabbing the knot I had tied in my towel.

"God baby girl, you drive me crazy. I have wanted this for so long."

I was in complete awe. I wanted nothing more than to rip his clothes off and finally fill my need. But I couldn't ruin this, I couldn't rush things. This was going to go the way he wanted it to, I would not ruin this moment for the both of us. Once he removed my towel, I was all kinds of self-conscious. I immediately, by habit, started apologizing; I started explaining that I hadn't worked out in a couple of weeks and how I knew I should have. But he kissed me in mid-sentence.

"You're perfect. You're gorgeous. You hear me? Look in my eyes baby girl, all I have wanted for the past year is this, is you. You drive me crazy. Every day all day I dreamt of this moment, of being with the smart, witty, beautiful girl who sat in the back of my classroom. And now here you are, I could not love the site of you more."

At that moment I couldn't take it anymore, I reached for his shirt and ripped it off before I began kissing up and down his torso, he was so incredible. I couldn't stop myself, my lips had a mind of their own and they would stop at nothing before tasting every part of him. He didn't seem to mind, as I happily received a slight moan from him as encouragement to keep going. God he was definitely going to be the end of me.

After kissing every inch of his torso, my hands reached for his belt, taking his lips with my own and devouring them. He opened his mouth and made another, louder moan, rolling over so he was on top of me. He helped me remove his pants and boxers until we were both out in the open, there was nothing left to get in the way. I couldn't help but be a little nervous, this was my first time. But the way he was taking care of me made my worries disappear bit by bit. Slowly he started kissing down my torso and to my center. This was it, this was the moment that I had been waiting for. The moment that made it impossible to look back. A kiss we could move past, even a kiss naked, but this, this was the real thing and I have never been happier.

The next two hours were a perfect blur. Our bodies intermingled perfectly. His had fit perfectly in mine and I knew we were meant to be. There was one problem, we were still on a school trip and dinner was in fifteen minutes. We grudgingly got out of bed and got dressed. I finally got him to stop tickling me long enough to put my shoes on and we were off into the public eye like nothing ever happened. That night would definitely be an interesting one.

Throughout all of dinner we snuck glances at each other across the table. Nothing too obvious, or at least I thought so until Trina abruptly stopped eating her soup and asked me to go to the restroom with her. Once arriving, she questioned me.

"What is going on with you? You've barely touched your dinner and you keep glancing over at Sr. Morgan like you two have some ongoing joke. Did something happen today after the group got back from the store?"

I couldn't stand keeping this from my best friend, it was killing me. But I swore to Derek (Sr. Morgan's first name) that I would not tell a soul what we were doing in between the sheets. I couldn't betray him like that.

"I don't know what you are talking about, Trina. I went into the room after my shower and laid down for a nap, by the time I woke up Der… I mean Sr. Morgan was sitting on his bed watching TV and it was only ten minutes from dinner."

Trina eyed me suspiciously, I knew I was a horrible liar but I at least had to try for the sake of my budding relationship, affair, whatever it was, we hadn't exactly gotten that far yet. She finally pretended that she believed me and we made our way back to the table. I got a questioning look from Derek and assured him with a nod that everything was fine. We did not sneak peeks at each other for the rest of dinner.

When we finally got back to the hotel in what felt like centuries, we all said our goodnights and made our way to the rooms. Once in the room, I went straight for the bathroom to freshen up. I grabbed my toiletry bag that I had put under the sink when I moved in earlier and brushed my teeth, followed by washing my face and putting moisturizer on. Finally I put a tad bit of lip gloss on and one of Derek's oversized T shirts with nothing underneath.

When I finally made my way back out to the room he just stared at me, like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. I could get used to this, I thought to myself. He tackled me onto the bed and kissed me intently. When we finally had the strength to pull away from each other, it was his time to use the bathroom so I scooted my way to the top of the bed and got my book out of the bedside table. He opened the bathroom door about ten minutes later and winked at me. He was wearing his boxers and an undershirt. He made his way over to the bed and took my book out of my hand, I could smell his aftershave mixed with his axe soap.

"I've got something better for you to study."

"Oh do you now?" I asked with a smirk on my face,

"And what might that be?"

Derek winked

"Let me give you a little hint."

He leaned in and started kissing me again, I could not get enough of his peppermint breath mixed with his axe soap; he was truly the image of perfection. We got lost in each other's embrace and kissed the night away.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning I was woken up by the smell of coffee. Derek had brought me coffee in bed from the complimentary breakfast downstairs. How did I get so lucky? Looks and coffee? It was a dream come true. I needed to wake up from this though, he was 25 years old and my teacher for another year. What was this? I can't fall for this man and then get my heart ripped out of my chest. I thanked him for the coffee and made my way to the bathroom to get ready for the day and get a couple of minutes to think about this.

I started the shower, even though technically I was supposed to be showering in Trina's room, and stood under the scorching water. I love morning showers, they are the perfect time to reflect on the night before and predict what the day was going to bring. When I got out of the shower, I ran the brush through my easily tangled hair, I decided to let it hang free that day, the way it fit my face made me look thinner. Then I put a light layer of mascara on and a blob of lip gloss.

This was it, nothing left to procrastinate with. I made my way out of the bathroom and there he was, staring at me. I didn't think about the fact that I had to get dressed in the room, looking down and remembering I still had a towel on. My cheeks turned 3 shades pinker and I made my way over to my pile of folded clothes on the floor to pick out my outfit. While I was reaching for my lucky bra, I felt Derek's hands wrap around my waist. As I stood back up, he wrapped himself around me and kissed my cheek.

"Good morning, beautiful, did you sleep alright?"

I wanted this, I wanted this so badly; but our ages were so far apart, it was like the universe was taunting me. Every fiber of my being wanted to lean into him, to give him what we both wanted. Only my conscience got the best of me like it always did and I became stiff. Noticing the difference in my body language he got worried.

"What's wrong with my baby girl? Didn't get enough sleep?"

I couldn't hold it back anymore.

"Derek what are we? I mean I love this, I really do. I have been dreaming about this since the first day I walked into your classroom. But our ages are so different and I am going to be your student for another year after this. Do you really see us going somewhere or is this just a summer fling we will forget about when fall comes around?"

"Oh baby girl I could never forget this, I could never forget the way your curves fit perfectly in my arms, the vanilla scent I get every time you walk past me. I could never forget the way my heart jumped the first time you walked into my classroom two years ago in that teal blue tank top that brought the color out in your eyes so perfectly."

I was breathless at this point.

"You…you remember what I was wearing?"

"I remember everything baby girl and I will never forget."

"Is it wrong for me to say that I am falling in love with you and I'm scared?"

"All I know is that if it is wrong, we are both screwed because I loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you."

"What is going to happen between us? God damn it Derek, why can't you be younger? Why can't I be older? Why do you have to be my teacher?"

"I don't know P, I really don't. One thing I do know is if you are willing to give this crazy thing a shot, so am I. The cards are in your hands. If you decide that you want someone younger, someone in the same stage of life as you, I will walk away with these fond memories always in my heart. But if you decide you want to be with me, I am all in."

I didn't even hesitate, I didn't have to. I have wanted him for so long. I have sought after him for so long. The thought of being in someone else's arms sickened me, and the thought of him in someone else's arms made me cringe. He took this as a bad sign and started to pull away from me. I turned around as quickly as I could and kissed the worried look right off of his face.

"Don't you get it Derek Morgan? It has always been you, it will always be you. I am head over heels utterly in love with you and that will never change."


	5. Chapter 5

The rest of the trip flew by in a blur. It was the best month of my life. Laying in Derek's arms every night; it was the most at home I had ever felt. This is where I belonged. The trip was coming to an end and I was sad to see it go. It was so easy for us here. We play teacher and student during the day, we had made it into a game, bet against each other on who would cave and stare at the other first. Then we would go back to our oasis at night and lay in each other's embrace for the rest of the night where no one could touch us. Our last night consisted of finding a private spot behind the hotel where no one could find us. We lied under the stars together and talked about the future that we hoped would await us.

The next day of travel was long and tiring. I spent most of the flight talking to Trina about the hot guy who had followed her on twitter and given her his email address. I listened to Trina as she told me about the romantic emails she planned on sending to him, it would be so wonderful, so much more romantic than phone calls. Sitting around, waiting for a reply. I was happy for her, I really was, and she deserved to be just as happy as I was. I just hoped for her sake that her relationship would last, being countries away was going to be more difficult that she anticipated. But what room did I have to judge? Who knows what would happen with Derek? He was my teacher after all, we just had to hope for the best, all of us.

When we finally got back to Virginia, I remembered that my parents had dropped me off so that I wouldn't have to leave my car in the parking lot for a month at the airport. I was supposed to call them on my connecting flight and completely spaced it. I approached Derek and told him this. He smirked at me and offered to give me a ride home. It was 11:30 at night and there was no reason to wake my parents and make them come all the way here when his place was on the way. I sent my mom a text message saying that I had a ride home.

Derek and I waited for the rest of the girls to get picked up by their parents before we started heading for his car, which he had geniously parked in the abandoned parking garage that had shut down about two years ago. No one had looked in that garage for years or cared about the broken down vehicles that still remained in it. This meant no charge for a month's worth of parking. Once we got to his car on the top floor of the garage, walking hand in hand, we were on our way back to reality.


	6. Chapter 6

It hit me that the school year was approaching faster than I realized when my mom looked at me one night and mentioned our ritual back to school clothes shopping we did every year the weekend before school started. The summer had consisted of Derek and me spending nights in his apartment eating take out and watching movies. It was pure and wonderful bliss. There was nothing closer to perfect. Only next Monday was the start of senior year; we knew the day was coming, we even discussed it once or twice. But we still never thought about reality. We would discuss it as if it was years away, so far from touching us that we had nothing to worry about. That was obviously not the case and the next eight months of our lives was definitely going to be the test.

Derek and I decided to take a small break from each-other for the next two weeks. I needed to spend some time with my mom so that she didn't get suspicious of where my time was being spent, and he needed to get his notes together for the first day of school. Here we go, back to reality.

School shopping was a success, I had the perfect outfit picked out for the first day, a spaghetti strap dress that went down to mid-thigh. At this point I had lost eighty pounds in total and was ready to show it off. The dress showed off my newly toned thighs and arms. The back was casual lace that went down to mid back, and the cleavage was a low cut V-neck that was just modest enough to not get questions, but just low enough to drive Morgan crazy. I finished the outfit off with my sandal heels that accented the length of my legs perfectly. Derek and I couldn't show off our relationship and I understood that, but driving him crazy in class was going to be so much fun.

Every year on the night before school started I slept over at Trina's house. We would usually talk about the guys in our grade and how they grow more immature over the three months of break. This year was a little different. She was still going strong with her boyfriend in Spain so she had no interest in the boys in our grade. Even though she had no interest, she didn't know about Derek and me so she made it her goal to get the new me a boyfriend this year. I love her to death, and I know she means the best, it was killing me not being able to tell her about the love of my life. Maybe once we graduated I would be able to come clean and make her swear to never tell a soul. I begrudgingly listened to her list of eligible guys in our grade and laughed along with her when we compared their IQ's and level of good looks with who I was actually interested in considering. There was no way I could have a decoy boyfriend, it would be too cruel for him and for Derek. Even though it might give me and Derek an alibi, it would also include telling one of the bozo boys in my class about my relationship. This is basically asking to be outted to the school board so we are back to square one.

Trina finally passed out around 11 after I fed her an extra bar of chocolate. This gave me plenty of time to sneak out to Derek's, have some fun, and make it back by 1 and get a solid 6 hours of sleep. I put on the little number that I was surprising Sr. Morgan with and a robe over the top, grabbed my keys, put a little lip-gloss and mascara on, and was out the door.

I walked up to Derek's apartment and used the key he gave me to let myself in. When I made my way through the door, I was welcomed by the delicious smell of his axe aftershave. There was one single lamp light coming from the crack through his bedroom door. He must have been doing last minute notes in bed tonight. I walked as quietly as I could to his bedroom door, dropped the robe to the floor, and posed before slowly opening the bedroom door.

The look on his face was priceless. He looked confused and full of lust which was exactly where I wanted him. I slowly made my way into his room and climbed on the end of his bed when he finally muttered a sound.

"Pen what are you doing here?"

"Only here to please handsome, only here to please you."

He looked at me in awe while I did a couple of slow dance moves on my hands and knees while I slowly discarded the little amount of clothes I was wearing. The next hour was true bliss.

I made it back to Trina's just in time to get a sufficient night sleep, this year would be tricky and challenging, but it was also going to be so wonderful.


	7. Chapter 7

I got my schedule on the first day of school, and what do you know? I start the day off with Derek. This was going to be fun. I made sure that I was ten minutes late for his class, this would give him the opportunity to not only appreciate what I was wearing, but also have an excuse for me to see him after class. When I walked in, it was obvious I wasn't missing much. He was going over the class rules that I had heard for two years already. When I walked into the classroom, his face turned bright red, I had to bite my cheek to keep myself from laughing. To hide his embarrassment and flush, he got angry and made it seem like he was upset about my interruption of the class. He went on to lecture me on starting the year off wrong, and how I knew better. I finally heard the words that I had been waiting for, he was no idiot, and he knew why I arrived late.

"Ms. Garcia, please see me after class so we can discuss this further. I believe you have a free period following my class."

"Yes sir, whatever you say." I replied with sarcasm in my voice. This year might be even more entertaining than I had originally thought.

At the end of class I patiently waited for the rest of the students to clear out of the classroom. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Derek glared at me just in case someone was to look into his classroom and shut the door. When the door was finally shut, a smirk slowly appeared on his face, softening his features.

"You little temptress." He said laughing. "You did this on purpose didn't you?"

"Who, me? I would never do anything intentional to interrupt your class Sr. Morgan."

He gave me the most adorable smile and started walking towards me. I am not a gross person, I am not a person that enjoys PDA. However, when it comes to Derek I imagine myself everywhere with him. The intensity of my lust for him is so strong within me that I cannot help but be okay with the most provocative setting; as long as I am with this man of my dreams, I would be anywhere. Once he finally reached me, he double checked to make sure the door was locked and the blinds were down. The next thing I knew, I was against the wall and experiencing the most longing and tingling kiss I have ever experienced in my life. The thing I love about being with this amazing man is that every kiss is better than the last. The intensity gets stronger, the fireworks get bigger, and the need gets deeper into my core. Derek is and will always be the love of my life; nothing, nothing could ever change this.

Later during lunch Trina began interrogating me.

"What happened? Why did he keep you? Did you get detention? It's the first day of school for god's sake."

I hated this, I hated lying to my best friend. Maybe I should discuss this with Derek, maybe he would understand and would be okay with the one person (other than him) that I count on completely knowing my secret. I know she wouldn't tell anyone, I know that she would understand, and deep down I think someone knowing about this would give me the satisfaction of knowing it was a real relationship and not just some stupid affair you see on a bad Lifetime movie. After school that day I had 'volunteered' to be a part of the students that stick around during detention to help the other students do community service. Originally I had signed up last year in order to put it on my college applications, however since I know for a fact that I am going to Northwestern (early acceptance), I was going to cross my name off the list. That was before this summer and before I found out that Derek got stuck being the adult in charge of the group. This meant that I would be able to spend more time with him, plus I got to tell my parents that it ended two hours earlier than it did to get some prime boyfriend time at his apartment.

It was the first day of school so the only people in detention that day were me, Derek, this stoner who had hours he still had to finish from last year, and a girl that got caught cheating on a prerequisite test. Community service today was cleaning out the janitor's closet and cleaning the locker rooms before fall sports began. Once we got started, I had put my headphones in and just got to work. Every once and a while I would sneak a glance at Derek but there was no way I was going to get people suspicious this early in the year. I went as slow as possible, and since I was the only actual one working other than Derek, once the kids in detention were done with their time, Derek and I had an excuse to stay later together.

Once the coast was clear, we made our way to his classroom and turned the lights out.

"You have been driving me crazy all day Baby Girl."

"Oh have I now?"

"You have no idea what you do to me, all I want to do when you are around is grab you and show everyone how lucky I am."

"Aww my chocolate Adonis you are too sweet, but you know I'm not exactly the talk of these hallowed halls."

"On the contrary baby girl, have you seen the way the guys are gawking at you this year? They've noticed, and if they notice anymore I might have to show them who you belong to."

"Oh handsome, don't you know why I haven't noticed? Because you are the only man within a million miles of this place that I have ever had eyes for. You are my everything and always have been. Ever since I came to this school, you are the only person I have noticed. You are the only person I ever want to notice. The other boys do not stand a chance in hell, you are the only man of my life."

"Mmmm the way you talk to me."

"I love you Derek Morgan.

"Baby girl I know you said that this summer when you were caught up in the moment, but you don't have to move so fast if you aren't ready"

"Derek you are the love of my life."

"I love you too Pen."

The next thing I knew we were in the locker room. Derek put his coat down on the work bench and laid me down on top of it. He slowly began to kiss his way down my body starting at my forehead. God the way he set me on fire, the way he made me want him, it is more than I have ever experienced and more than I could ever have imagined. He took my dress and bra off and started slowly kissing down my chest and torso. I couldn't take it anymore, I flipped us over. I needed to taste him, I needed to feel him. I quickly removed his shirt and kissed every inch of his exposed chest and abs.

The next hour was a wonderful and perfect blur. After we laid together for about twenty minutes cuddling and talking about everything under the sun. I finally had the courage to bring Trina up.

"Derek I know that no one can find out about this. I never want us to be forced apart."

"Me neither Pen."

"Right but I was wondering…"

"You want to tell Trina don't you?"

The way this man knew everything was thinking both excited and scared me at the same time.

"Well yeah, she is my best friend and I just can't stand keeping this from her any longer."

"I trust your judgment Pen, if you think we can trust her that is good enough for me.

"Seriously, how did I get so lucky?

"I ask myself that every day baby girl."

We finally built up enough strength to get dressed. I waited for him to lock up and he followed me home to make sure I got there alright. I explained to my mom that there was more cleaning than we had anticipated and I had felt bad leaving it unfinished. I then proceeded to go to my room and make a coffee date for the next day with my best friend. It is about time she knows who my heart belongs to.


	8. Chapter 8

I walked into the coffee shop that next day after school. I was riled up with nerves. I had gotten there a little early so I ordered a white chocolate mocha and sat to contemplate. What would she think? Would she approve? I know that she would never tell anyone. I really think that she will be happy for me. That is how best friends are supposed to react, right? They are supposed to love and support you no matter what; and she has for just about everything. Of course there was the exception of the horrible gold dress I bought in the sixth grade but I had that one coming. I needed to just take a deep breath and trust that my best friend loves me and she will be happy for me.

She finally walked in after I had calmed myself down. She ordered her coffee and we started talking about her boyfriend from Spain. Apparently he had sent her the most perfect scarf she had ever laid her eyes on. I was really happy for her, hopefully her new relationship would help her understand where I am coming from and make things easier. Here it goes, now or never.

"So I have something I need to tell you." I finally muttered.

"What's up? You didn't decide to back out on the Olsen boy did you? He is a prime contender."

"Well here's the thing… I am kind of already seeing someone."

The look on her face was excitement mixed with confusion.

"Why would you not tell me? I am your best friend. Give me all of the details! It wasn't the Olsen boy? Was it Mike from APES or Jeremy from APUSH?"

"No, it's someone a little bit older."

"Like college? Oh girl you go!"

"No he isn't in college."

"Oh a bad boy? Stopped after high school? I always had suspensions…"

"No." I cut her off, I couldn't keep this from her any longer.

"I am in love with Sr. Morgan."

She started laughing. "Girl so are half of the girls in our school, that doesn't mean you are in a relationship with them."

I didn't stop, I continued saying what I needed to say.

"We started seeing each other in Spain. There had been subtle hints and flirts before then but nothing too obvious. I am in love with him Treen, he makes me so happy. He is so good to me. We fell in love. I wanted to tell you right away but we couldn't tell anyone. If the school board found out, he would lose his job. I could never do that to him."

Silence. The rest of the hour we sat in silence as we drank our coffee.

"Trina you have to say something, anything. Are you mad? Are you happy for me? What is going through your mind?"

"You don't want me to answer that." She muttered in a disappointed tone.

"Please Treen, you are my best friend, you are like my sister. I need to know what you are thinking, please!"

"Fine, you asked for it. I cannot believe you! You are ridiculous! You are only going to hurt yourself in this, I really hope you know that. For god's sake Pen we are in high school, turning eighteen does not give you the permission to date our teacher! He is going to break your heart into a million pieces! You are going somewhere, you are going to college. This is only months away, you are going to fall in love with this man and then leave him and break your own heart. Do you think he loves you? Of course he doesn't! He is a teacher who is excited to get into a teenage girl's pants. You deserve better Pen and I am so sick of watching you throw your life away because you don't have self- confidence. You are mere pounds away from your goal weight, all of your acne is gone, any guy in this school would be lucky to have you. What do you do? You choose some teacher who is going to use you. I cannot sit around and watch you do this any longer. I am done trying to help you when you won't help yourself."

I was stunned, I couldn't move, couldn't think, it was hard to even breathe. What do I say? She has never spoken to me like this, never. She has always been my rock, the sensible and wonderful Trina. Why is she so upset about this? I am so happy. Can't she see that? Can't she be happy for me?

"Are you serious Treen? He makes me so happy. You don't know what you are talking about. The way he treats me is so wonderful, he loves me. You really don't know what you are saying, please give us a chance before you make judgments. I need my best friend right now, I need you to be on the same page as me."

"Well maybe you should have thought about that when you decided to keep this from me."

"Tr…"

"Stop, just stop. You know what? I have to go anyways, I have a skype date with Andres. "

Just like that she left, she walked out of the coffee shop and never turned back. She's my best friend and she doesn't even care that I need her. I do one thing she doesn't agree with and she bales. Fine, if she wants to be like that then let her. I have Derek, he is all I need. She will come around eventually, I know she will.


	9. Chapter 9

I couldn't sleep that night, I had a feeling that Trina was going to reveal my secret. I don't want to believe that she is capable of something like that but I also didn't think she was going to hate me because of my love. I walked into first period with knots in my stomach. This was it, the moment of truth. Both I and Trina are in this class, if she was going to make a comment or reveal our affair it was going to be now. Right before class started I asked Derek if I could see him in the hallway about a question on my assignment. He agreed and winked at me, he had no idea what he was about to get himself into.

"Baby girl I missed you last night, I was lying in bed and thought…"

"Sr. Morgan," I interrupted him when the principal started to walk down the hallway. "The second paragraph response, was that supposed to be in the preterit or imperfect?"

Once the coast was clear we went back to our discussion.

"Derek we need to talk. I told Trina last night."

"Oh Pen she wasn't upset that you waited so long, was she? Did she understand that we needed to keep it a secret?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? What happened?"

I finally broke down for the first time since last night. My numbness turned into pain and I broke out in tears and became dizzy. Before I realized what was happening, Derek was holding me, I had almost fallen and he had to catch me from hitting the floor.

"Pen let's go to my office, I will call in an emergency sub for my class."

I couldn't speak, I just nodded my head and he was leading me to his office. In what felt like years, we finally reached his desk and he shut the door behind him. He sat me down on the leather sofa in his office and I cried on his shoulder, I was lucky he loved me because I was blubbering like an idiot. I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to get my act together and just have an adult conversation but I couldn't. He held me like this for a good twenty minutes before I finally calmed down.

"Pen are you okay?"

I shook my head, I didn't know what I was but okay was definitely not the description.

"Derek she hates me, she doesn't understand our relationship and she was mad about it. Told me you were only going to use me and that I was screwing with my heart."

"Pen I would never do that to you, I promise, I love you so much. You are the girl I have been waiting for my whole life, you have to know this. "

He is such an idiot, a sweet and perfect idiot. His speech just made me start blubbering like an idiot again. I finally calmed down in only two minutes this time. He looked so frantic and worried that I knew I had to say something.

"Derek I know you love me, I never questioned that. I just don't want my best friend to either, she hurt me. I know she loves me and is looking out for me but she doesn't understand how much I love you. You are all I think about. When I am not with you it's like I can't breathe. You are the one person that keeps me going. You are the only person other than her that I have told about my suicide attempt a couple of years ago. No one knows, and no one will ever know except for the two of you. I can't lose either of you, it would be too much. But I can't choose, I am scared that if I have to I will lose my best friend forever."

He just stared at me. "Pen I would never force you to choose me over Trina, I could never make you do that. I just want you to be happy."

"That's what scares me Derek, in the past I would NEVER choose a man over Treen, she is everything to me. But last night it wasn't even a question in my mind. I knew that you were it, you are the person that has to be a constant in my life, and otherwise my life would not be worth anything to me. You are my dream come true Derek Morgan and it scares me to death."

He just held me and ran his fingers through my hair and down my back to calm me down.

"Baby girl it's going to be okay, everything will be okay. She will come around and I am not going anywhere I swear to you. I will never leave you. You are not a fling, you are the real thing and I will do whatever I have to do to prove that to you; and if that means proving it to Trina, I am more than happy to make that happen."

"Just hold me Derek Morgan and never let me go."

I finally pulled myself together and reapplied my makeup in Derek's tiny wall mirror in his office. I was on my way to my second period class when Trina passed me in the hall and threw a not.

I saw that what I told you last night had no impact. I hope you and Sr. Morgan had a nice hookup during first period. You disgust me, oh and by the way don't worry I won't tell anyone your nasty little secret, well as long as you stay out of my way. This friendship is done, I can't keep playing the role of your mother. I can't believe you.

Have a nice life once he breaks your heart,

Trina

I couldn't handle this anymore, I had to go home. I left a note on Derek's desk letting him know we would need to cancel our after school plans. I ran to my car and cried in the parking lot for an hour before I worked up the energy to drive away. My mom was on a business trip and my dad was going to meet her after he got off work so that they could have a romantic night together. I just plopped myself down on the couch and curled up in a ball. I couldn't go back to my old habits, I couldn't hurt myself. I just needed to calm down and think about the tricks that Trina looked up for me online all those years ago. As I was going through the steps, I didn't realize that I was drifting off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

I was woken up by a knock on my door. I looked down at my phone and saw that it was about 4, I also saw two missed calls from mom and three new texts from Derek. I would look at them later, I needed a night to sulk. I was thinking about what combination of chocolate and popcorn I could put together in order to create a meal while I was walking to the door. When I opened it there he was, my knight and shining armor. He didn't care how awful I must have looked, he just held out his hands to reveal what he had brought with him. I didn't have to worry about dinner anymore. In one hand was a bag of Tupperware containers and my favorite Smirnoff drinks and in his other hand were my favorite chocolate truffles and lilies. This man was going to be the end of me. He didn't say a thing, I stepped back and let him in.

"Der…"

"Shhhh, he cut me off."

He took my hand and led me to the bathroom. He took one of the washcloths out of the linen closet and dampened it. He started lightly using it on my face and around my eyes. The damp, cool water felt amazing on my dry stained cheeks. Then he took my brush from under the sink and lightly brushed out the tangles in my hair. He knew my favorite feeing in the world was someone playing with my hair, it amazed me how much he remembered. He then led me to my bedroom and went through my drawers. He pulled out my favorite pair of women's boxers and my comfortable oversized sweatshirt. He stripped me down to my underwear and dressed me. Then without a word led me back to the living room where he pulled Dirty Dancing and Dumb and Dumber out of the bag of food. He held them out in front of me and I pointed at Dumb and Dumber. He put the movie into the DVD player, put my blanket over me, went and heated up the food in the microwave, put the flowers in a vase, popped us some popcorn, and sat down. I put my head on his chest and we just laid like that for both movies eating his homemade burgers and fries with the popcorn and chocolate and just lying in each other's embrace.

At the end of Dirty Dancing, we spoke for the first time all night.

"How are you feeling Baby girl?"

I just looked up at him in awe.

"How, how do you do this? How do you make me feel like this? I came home today ready to be done with everything, ready to just give up on life. Then you show up and do this. Why do I deserve this? Why do you love me so much? You are amazing Derek, truly amazing. Thank you so much. "

"Never ask why you deserve me. Look at you. You have been crying all day and you still take my breath away with your beauty. Jus the mere thought of you makes my heart jump Pen. I am honored to be able to spoil you like this."

He kissed my forehead and I snuggled up against his chest even tighter. We fell asleep like this, nothing could disturb me. Not Trina, not school, not my parents, nothing could touch me.

Or at least that is what I thought.


	11. Chapter 11

The next few months were looking up. Sure Trina and I weren't talking, but Derek and I were amazing. For Christmas he got me the most beautiful promise ring, he promised me that he was in it for the long haul and one day that stone was going to be replaced by a diamond. I of course couldn't wear this in public yet so I put it on a chain and wore it as a necklace every day. It would usually fall under my sweaters and no one knew it was there besides the two of us.

Trina and I may not be friends anymore but old habits die hard. I would catch myself writing out a text to her every time something big happened to me. I would then come to the realization of what I was doing when my thumb was hovering the send button. I wonder what she was up to, we would spend every New Years together. We would save up all of our money all year and cash it in at a spa for the weekend. Only since we went to Spain this year, we were going to have a home spa at my house instead. It was definitely tricky trying to explain to my parents why she was not there that weekend. I lied and told them that I was going to her house instead and ended up at Derek's for the night where we ate takeout Chinese and watched the ball drop at midnight. It wasn't my tradition, but it was a great way to pass the time and make new memories.

My dad used to be an alcoholic and his drinking started to happen again. It was getting really bad, he and mom were arguing every night. One night it resulted in my mom's dumbbells getting thrown through a closed window. I always went to Trina with this. That was the night that my impulse to call her was the strongest. Only I knew she wouldn't take my call, she had made herself very clear in September and I wasn't going to push her. I didn't want Derek to know, I didn't want him to know how screwed up my home life really was. It wouldn't be fair to him. He was already burdened with my history, he didn't need to know the real root of it. I needed to get out of the house that night. I drove my car to the top of my sanctuary hill. It's the hill that Trina and I would always ride our bikes to when things got too bad at home, we would bring our tent and flashlights and camp out on the hill. My dad was too drunk to care and my mom was too upset to notice. It was the one place that they couldn't get to me. Trina and I would spend hours up here planning our escape from this town. We would plan our big important executive jobs that we would get for ourselves in the city. We would be independent and only need each other to get through. That was all we had anyways, her parents were too busy with work to glance twice at her and mine, well they were my parents.

I just sat in my car and thought back to all of our good times, I couldn't help but smile when I remember Trina's first kiss in seventh grade. We ran as fast as we could to the hill after school.

"You can't tell a soul, Pen I mean it.

"Who am I going to tell Treen?" I said laughing. "The last I checked you were my only best friend."

"Okay well Bobby kissed me!"

"What? No way! What did it feel like? Was it gross?"

"No it wasn't gross Pen, grow up. It was nice. He just leaned in and bam!"

"Wow that is so cool!"

'Don't worry Pen, you will get your first kiss really soon, I know you will."

"Yeah right, look at me! None of the guys at school want anything to do with me."

"Stop it Pen you're beautiful. How are the scars coming?"

"They are better, you can hardly see the ones on my left leg anymore."

"Good, promise me Pen, promise me you will never do it again."

"I promise. I love you Treen."

"I love you too, Pen."

"So were his lips dry? How did his breath smell?"

"Well…"

We sat up on that hill for hours talking about the details of her first kiss, imagining what it would be like to have a real boyfriend. I fell asleep that night with a smile on my face. Sure Trina and I weren't speaking, but that didn't take away from the memories we had together. They were special, they were my childhood and I could never forget how much she meant and still means to me.

I woke up to my phone ringing. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep. I figured it would either be Derek asking me if I wanted to hang out or my mom finally realizing I was gone. It was an unknown number.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Is this Penelope Garcia?"

"This is she."

"I am calling from the Sentara Medical Center in Quantico Virginia."

I looked at the clock on my dash, 3:30?

"I'm sorry did you say you were calling from the emergency room?"

"Yes ma'am, I am sorry to inform you that your parents were in a car accident tonight. They are in our facilities as we speak, can you get here?"

Accident, my parents? Car? My dad was wasted tonight. What was going on? What the hell? My head was spinning. I was running on auto pilot not even understanding my own words.

"Um yes ma'am I am on my way."

Once I got to the emergency room, the doctor explained that my dad had been intoxicated while driving and ran the car into the lake. My head was spinning. He explained that they were in comas in intensive care. He didn't know if they were going to make it, it would not be confirmed for another twenty four hours.

I robotically moved to a chair in the waiting room and just sat there. This wasn't happening. I just saw my dad, he was mad and went to bed, my mom was sitting in the living room knitting and trying to act like nothing was wrong. This was normal, my dad would go to bed, my mom would fall asleep in the guest room and they would make up the next morning when my mom made my dad his hangover cure. They never drove, my mom would usually hide his keys. What happened? Why would she allow him to drive, and drive with her in the car? I became dizzy and then there was black.

I woke up and forgot where I was. I saw white, white walls, white ceiling, white everything. Then came my sense of smell. It smelt like disinfectant. Then my hearing came back. All I heard was "doctor you are needed in room 201", it sounded like it was coming from an intercom of some sort. Then it all came back, rushing back like a flood. My parents! I needed my mommy, I needed to hug her one more time, I needed to smell her perfume one more time. I needed to watch the game with my dad on Sunday, the one day that he didn't drink. I needed my family, my life back. The nurse was leaning over me.

"You're back with us sweetheart."

She was wearing the usual white nurse's scrubs. She was a short black woman with curly hair. She had soft and sweet features around her laugh lines. She was probably in her late fifties.

"How are you feeling baby?" She asked.

"I've been better."

"Well do you promise not to faint on us again? Had the staff worried sick."

They were worried about me? My parents were on their death beds and she was worried about me?

"Where are they? Where are my parents? Are they going to make it, are they okay? I need to see them."

I started to sit up when I realized I had an IV in my arm.

"Shhh, calm down sweetie, we will explain in a second. Lay down, you are going to get yourself worked up again."

"You're parents went in peace, they were not in pain. I promise we made sure of that."

Went in peace? That means…. They were gone. I would never see my parents again. All I could hear was muffled sound, barely making out the words.

"We called your aunt, she is on her way from D.C. now. Since you are eighteen you can obviously choose where you want to live and what you want to do from here."

This was insane, she was talking to me like I was planning a tea party. My parents were dead, dead! I was never going to see them again and she was making it sound like they were gone for a week and I needed a place to stay.

I just nodded and again saw black.

When I woke up, this time I knew where I was. The word dead was spinning around in my brain. This time Aunt Lindsay was hovering over me.

"Baby come here."

She just held me. Finally someone who understood what I needed, someone who understood that I couldn't make funeral plans yet, I just needed some time to process what was happening.


	12. Chapter 12

The next two weeks were a blur. Between the funeral planning, dividing up their assets, and packing up the house I was in a blur, out of reality. All I wanted to do was call Trina. She would know what to do, she would know what I needed. I knew that wasn't an option so I just stood still. I told Aunt Lindsay about Derek, no details. Just that we had been serious for about seven months now and that he agreed to let me stay with him while I figured stuff out. Since I was eighteen, technically Aunt Lindsay was not appointed my guardian so she took my word for it and let me do what I wanted.

The night that I finally put the last of the house stuff in storage I was exhausted. I had not been at school for going on three weeks, Derek was secretly going to my mailbox at school and getting my work for me. Once I got to his apartment I just collapsed. We slept curled up on the couch, we both had the weekend to recoup before I went back to school on Monday. Well until he did, I wasn't sure if I was ready to face everyone yet. The next morning I woke to the smell of bacon. When I got out of bed and threw my sweatshirt on, I saw that Derek was in the kitchen putting what looked like his second batch of biscuits in the oven and leaning over the stove to stir the gravy. He was making my favorite breakfast that I haven't had since I lost the weight.

"Good morning sunshine." I said wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. "Something smells lovely."

"I hope you think so, it is made especially for you this morning."

He leaned in and kissed my forehead.

"Did you sleep okay?"

"Well I actually slept tonight so that is definitely an improvement. It's a good thing you love me because I haven't gotten any beauty sleep for weeks."

"My baby girl doesn't need sleep to be beautiful."

"I think the bags under my eyes would disagree with you."

"Oh shush and go sit down you goof."

I was so lucky I had Derek, without him I wouldn't have eaten at all these past few weeks. He made my breakfast just how I liked it, he put the bacon inside of the biscuit and poured the white gravy lightly over the top. I took a bite.

"Mmmm delicious, handsome. Thank you! What is on the agenda for today?"

"Well I was thinking that you could use your first lazy day since…"

Bless his heart, he was the most understanding man in the world.

"It's okay baby you can say accident. I know my parents are with me, I am still grieving but it gets better every day."

"Well okay movie day then? And then I have a special plan for us tonight."

"Oh do tell."

"Nice try baby girl, this one is in the vault until tonight."

"Oh how you tease. I teasingly threw a piece of a plain biscuit at him."

"Oh no you don't!" he came back with an entire biscuit and before you knew it we were cleaning the mess from the food fight we had just had.

"Nice going babe, making me clean on my lazy day."

"Oh you started it."

He chased me all the way to the couch trying to tickle me. I finally gave up and we started our Netflix marathon. We watched a little of everything from stupid Disney shows to Criminal Minds. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep halfway through one of my favorite episodes of One Tree Hill until I heard the shower start. I got up groggily and looked at my phone, it was about five o' clock I should probably get ready for my surprise. I went to put my phone in my pocket when I realized I had a missed call from Trina. Shocked, I hurried to check the voicemail.

"Hey Pen, this is weird huh? Well I just wanted to say I am so sorry about your parents. I know this is a long time coming but I didn't know what to say to you. I loved them and I hope you are doing alright. Pen do not feel guilty. I know you, you are probably blaming yourself for it in some way and you are probably feeling guilty for some of the not so good aspects of your relationship with them. Pen don't do this to yourself. You were a good daughter and you know deep down how much they loved you, and they knew how much you loved them. In the end that is all that counts. I am guessing you are staying with Sr. Morgan, don't worry I won't tell anyone; we both know you have been through enough. Pen I miss you, I just wanted you to know I am sorry for how things went down, my pride got in the way. I hated not being able to be there for you these past few weeks. I just thought you should know that. Well that's all, I hope I see you back at school soon. Bye Pen."

I didn't realize I was crying until the shower stopped. Derek came up behind me to see what was wrong. I couldn't say anything so I just handed him the recording to listen to. She knows me so well. She knew exactly what was going through my head, she knew my guilt, and she knew what I needed to hear. I didn't realize just how much I missed Trina until that moment. We had been through everything together and I did need her back in my life. When Derek got done listening to the recording he gave me a hug and let me snuggle into his chest.

"Do you still want to go out tonight or do you want to go see her?"

"No handsome it's fine, I can see her at school on Monday. I want to know what you had in store for tonight."

"You're sure?"

I nodded.

"Okay, if that's what you want that is what you will get. Go get ready, we will leave at eight."

I looked at the clock, I had two hours to get ready. I needed this, I needed a night to forget all of the drama in my life. Let the distraction from life begin.


	13. Chapter 13

The one thing I was unaware of was that Derek was apparently amazing at saving money for special occasions. The evening started with a limo parked outside of the apartment building. It pulled up to the only five star restaurant within our neighborhood. He had a table in the front reserved with candles lit and a bouquet of lilies. It happened to be the one night they got a professional sushi chef. Derek knew me so well. The night flew by with lovely banter, sushi to die for, and chocolate chip crepes for dessert. He spoiled me rotten. The night ended by going to the quaintest little café with homemade ice cream. I fell in love with this man more and more every day. When we walked into the café it was completely vacant.

"You didn't rent this place out just for us, did you? Derek it's too much."

He started laughing.

"Actually no, the sushi chef pretty much tapped me out. We just got lucky."

In the corner of the room I saw one of my favorite sweaters, I had lost it sometime over the summer. I turned around to ask the woman where she got it when…

"Trina?"

I couldn't believe it. This entire night was a set up. Derek knew what I needed, he knew I needed my best friend. He set this whole thing up. He knew she was going to call me and he arranged for her to meet me tonight. He is beyond words amazing. I gave him a huge hug, he kissed me on the forehead, and I ran to my best friend.

"I missed you so much Trina! It killed me not talking to you."

"Me too Pen, I am so sorry about the way I acted, I think I was just jealous. It will NEVER happen again!"

We spent the rest of the night talking. Before I knew it the all night café was closing, it was midnight. After the three of us chatting and laughing we completely lost track of time. We said our goodbyes and Trina and I made plans for Monday at lunch.

I was completely exhausted when we got home. I was so grateful to Morgan for everything tonight, I had my best friend back and I had a feeling that my parents were looking down on me. I had made the decision that I was ready to go back to school now that I will have Trina by my side.

"Derek I can't thank you enough for tonight. You spoil me and I don't know what I did to deserve it but I appreciate it more than you know."

"Baby girl you are my world and you deserve the best. I know you are exhausted, go to sleep. We have all day tomorrow to talk and lounge around the house. I love you."

"I love you too handsome, goodnight."

That was the first night I had slept in a month.


	14. Chapter 14

I loved Derek and we had an amazing time on Sunday lounging around the house, finishing the seasons on Netflix we actually could agree on. But I was so excited to see Trina on Monday. We had already made plans to meet at our old coffee shop. It would be a fresh start since that was the place where everything went wrong. We were going to do our usual Monday schedule, well minus going to the hill, I just wasn't ready for that. I didn't realize how much I missed her until last night, I wouldn't let myself remember. I was so hurt and had to hide it for Derek's sake. I knew if I let on how I really felt, he would have felt too guilty for breaking Trina and I up and would have wanted me to make things right with her. Only I knew that to Trina that meant leaving Derek and there was no way in hell I was doing that after how far we had come.

Sunday night finally came and I couldn't sleep. Imagine that, the first day back to school since I lose my parents and I can't sleep. I just laid back thinking about everything that tomorrow would consist of. I was trying to bet with myself on how many people would stare at me, how many people would mean well but not know what to say. I used to be one of them. I didn't know how to react when Charlie Jenkins fish died in the seventh grade, I was pretty sure if someone's parents had died I would have been smothered in awkwardness.

Morning came too slowly. Derek woke me up with breakfast and coffee in bed.

"Why do I have to get up? Maybe it was a bad idea to go back today, sleeping in has been so nice. I deserve it, I've been through a lot. One more day won't hurt me."

Derek threw a pillow at me.

"Come on silly, get out of bed. We miss you at school."

"There's no need to get violent," I said as I smothered him with the pillow, grabbed my coffee and made my way to the bathroom. I heard the pillow hit the door on my way in.

"Ha, you missed."

I heard a chuckle behind me and jumped in the shower. Here we go. Back to reality, back to papers and tests, back to lying about my relationship and pretending like the high school boys interest me. I dressed in my favorite casual black dress with my gold chain necklace that hung down to my cleavage. I left my hair down, putting a little bit of product in it to keep the loose curls intact throughout the day. Topped it off with a little bit of lip gloss and mascara and was out the door.

"There's my girl, back to her old self."

I rolled my eyes at him and refilled my coffee.

"Hey babe, I am going in early. I don't want us to get there at the same time coming from the same direction. After all, everyone thinks I am staying with my aunt in my old house. Love you."

"Love you too, see you in class,"

I started walking towards the door.

"Hey baby girl,"

I turned.

"Everything is going to be fine, keep your chin up high and I am there for you all day when you need me."

I smiled and winked at him before getting in my car and heading off to school.


	15. Chapter 15

The day back at school was everything I expected it to be. Every once in a while I got a sympathetic head nod, a hug from a random stranger I didn't even know, or a teacher patting my back and saying "It's okay sweetheart, we are all here for you." I appreciated the support, I really did, it's just… I wanted to get on with my life. I wanted to be able to go to school and not get attention from everyone. It was just a reminder of what had happened and I had relived that night on the hill enough times already. It was the first thing I thought of when I woke up and the last thing I thought of when I went to sleep. I had a secret from that night that no one could know. I figured that not thinking about it would make me feel less guilty for keeping the information from Derek. I was sitting in the cafeteria for lunch. I swear you could have heard a pen drop. Everyone just stared at me like I was on display. Every time I looked up from the Mystery meat Monday meal in front of me, they would turn away like I didn't know they were staring.

Finally Trina came up and saved me from being the exhibit of our high school.

"What's up loser?" She said throwing a pea in my direction."

I loved Trina so much. She was my best friend, she knew what I needed. She knew that walking on eggshells around me was not going to do anything but prolong the grieving process. I loved her for that.

I finally zoned back into what she was saying.

"So did you see how Sr. Morgan looked in those jeans today? Pretty hot, huh? I swear if he wasn't our teacher I might have to…"

"You stop right there unless you want this ratchet meat in your lap. I hear he is taken."

"Yeah probably, and besides why would he date a high school girl anyways?" she asked winking at me.

I glared her down before breaking out laughing. I could never stay mad at Trina.

"Speaking of the devil," She whispered to me as he was walking by our table. He turned around and quickly winked at me before anyone else could notice. The way he still gave me butterflies drove me crazy. No one has ever had this effect on me. I was just hoping he would get the chance to affect me like this for the rest of my life.

Trina started talking again.

"So do you think you can take a break from your double life tonight and hang out with me away from the boyfriend?"

"I think I can manage. Let me just cancel my movie night with my aunt."

"MMhhmm you do that," she replied sarcastically.

I whispered to her,

"Look it's not like I can announce a date in front of everyone. This is a small school, if people found out I had a boyfriend I don't know if I can come up with a sufficient cover story."

"Fair enough, I am sure your aunt will understand you rescheduling. You do live with her after all."

The rest of the day moved like molasses. All I wanted to do was get out of these doors and stop remembering. I wanted to stop remembering them, what I did, stop remembering my part in their death. I can't speak of it, I can't think about it, I can't look at myself in the mirror. I needed a distraction, something that would make me stop wanting to punish myself, something that would get me through the life that I didn't deserve. I found Derek in his office and let him know I would be home around nine. He nodded and kissed my forehead. He then pulled me into a hug, one he knew I needed.

"Baby girl I know it's hard, I can see it on your face. It's going to be okay, I promise. I am here for you and your parents are looking down on you. I know that nothing I say can make it better but you have to know that me and Trina are here and we will do everything it takes to make like bearable again."

I wanted to tell him so badly, to explain that I didn't deserve to be happy, that the accident was my fault. I needed to explain that I deserved to die in the accident, not my parents. They died because they loved me and I couldn't bare the guilt.

"Handsome I think I am going to cancel my plans with Trina, I just don't have the energy today."

"Okay, I will see you at home in a couple of hours baby girl."

When I found Trina she understood and hugged me before making her way to the last period of the day. Finally the day was over and I could curl up on the couch and try to forget everything that happened.

….

I got home before Derek and was too tempted to look down at my phone. I still had the voicemail and the texts from that night. I had been too distracted and upset to check them throughout the services. I didn't build up the courage to listen to my parent's last words to me until yesterday. I needed to listen to it again, to try and understand how I could be so horrible.

"Hey sweetheart, it's mom. Your father went to sleep finally and I realized you weren't home. Please come home baby, I am so sorry about everything. I promise things will get better. Please don't give up on your father and I. Oh sweety he is waking up, I need to hide the keys really fast."

Next message.

"Sweetheart it's me again. Please tell me where you are, your father is frantically searching for the keys to come find you. Please come home, if he finds them there is no stopping him from driving and it looks like the weather is getting pretty bad outside. Come home sweety."

Next message.

"Pen, it's your mom. I am so sorry. I tried to stop him, I got into the passenger seat and fought him. That might have made things worse. He was determined to find you and now we are speeding down the highway. Sweety I don't want to worry you but I don't have a good feeling about this. Please call me, I think if you tell us where you are he will let me drive. Oh god watch out for the….."

Dial tone.

It was all my fault. I killed my parents. I deserve nothing from this life. I grabbed the knife, I didn't care anymore. Derek was better off without me, so was Trina. I watched as my arm robotically cut the gushing red lines on my wrists. And with that thought I finally sobbed my way into a numb oblivion. My world went black.


	16. Chapter 16

Mom? I couldn't see anything, just a white light. But I heard her voice, the voice I would know anywhere.

"Hey Sweetie I am here for you always."

"Mom?" I managed to somehow mutter.

I just heard faint whispering.

"Sweetie nothing was your fault. Stop punishing yourself."

Everything went black again for what felt like days. Then everything was clear, I was in the cabin we used to rent for the summer when I was a kid. Why was I here? Then I smelt it, my mom's perfume. It was always my favorite smell. I will never forget the year I decided to go to sleep-a-way camp. I was so scared to leave and my mom gave me a pillowcase with her perfume sprayed on it. I didn't get homesick once. Whenever I started to miss my parents I would get the pillowcase and a letter that my mom wrote me and everything was okay again.

There she was, I could see her faintly over by the corner of the couch.

"Mom!"

She was blurry, nothing too spectacular but she was my mom, and a blurry image of her was enough for me.

"Baby go home, stop killing yourself over this. Nothing was your fault. Let me go."

I felt pressure in my right elbow, I looked down and there was my dad. He grabbed my arm and said.

"We have to get her back."

"Get who back daddy?"

"She lost too much blood, we have to get her in right away."

"Daddy?"

Next to speak was mom.

"Sweetie we love you and will see you again one day. Go home"

"Mom I am home, what are you talking about."

"We love you Pen."

"Mom wait!"

They were gone.

I opened my eyes, I didn't realize they were closed. I had no energy, hardly enough to move my eyelids. Where was I? Where did my parents go? I heard a deep voice.

"She's coming back to us."

There was finally clear vision.

"Whaa?"

"Shh, save your energy Ms. Garcia, you gave us all quite a scare."

I looked down, my wrists had stitches in them, over in the corner were bloody clothes. Everything came back. I panicked. Where was Derek? I never should have done this to him. Please tell me he didn't give up on me.

"Der… I mean Sr. Morgan, he would have been the one to find me. Do you know where he is?"

"Derek Morgan? Oh yes, he told us you were in the ladies room at school after hours when this happened. He is in the waiting room. We told him you were stable but he refused to leave until he saw you awake. Pretty good teacher you have there."

"Can I see him please? I need to apologize."

"Of course Ms. Garcia. I will have him in here in just a second."

What was I going to say to him? I probably scared him off for good. One stupid moment and I lose everything that means the world to me. Why was I so stupid? God damn it Penelope you screw everything up for yourself. What is wrong with you?

"Baby girl?"

It was the quietest sound I had ever heard from him.

"Are you okay?"

What could I say?

"Derek I am so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. Derek please don't hate me, please don't give up on us. I swear this will never happen again. Please don't get scared. I mean I understand if you do, after all you deserve better. You deserve someone without drama, someone who is put together, someone who you can count on. Not this, not this shit show."

"Are you done baby?"

"What do you mean?"

"First of all let me just look at those beautiful eyes of yours. Let me look at how incredible you look with life in you."

With that he grabbed my arms and ran his fingertips over my palms, moving up and caressing my face.

"Derek I don't understand…"

"I was upset baby girl, but I wasn't upset at you. I was upset because I was so scared I was never going to see you again. It scared me half to death. To never see those eyes again, to never feel your breath in my chest when I hold you at night. To never watch you squirm and get excited when we get into a sarcastic argument. To never see the flush in your cheeks when you get determined while working on a project. I can't hate you Pen, I love you too much. I need you in my life, I need you to never do this to yourself again. Do you hear me? Listen to me right now. Pen I know that losing your parents hurt you, you can't do that to me. I can't lose you. I can't lose my reason of happiness."

I was in awe. How could he be like this? Any other guy would have run away, he would have given up on a freak show like me and ran for the next short skirted cheerleader. But not Derek, he was a man. He was a mature and loving man. I was the luckiest girl on earth.

I didn't realize I was crying until Derek wiped a tear away.

"Promise me Pen, promise me you won't ever try to take the most important thing in my life away again."

"I promise, and I'm sorry." I whispered.

With that he leaned over and kissed my forehead before hugging me. I never wanted him to let me go.


	17. Chapter 17

I was wondering when she was going to visit me. I had just gotten our friendship back, what if she got sick of me again? Derek didn't leave the hospital, he slept on the couch in my room. We had told her that my aunt was out of town and that Derek was a family friend from way back. We told her she had asked him to stay with me as a favor. Who were they to question it? I am eighteen. They said I can go home tomorrow, maybe she is waiting until I get released. That would make sense, wouldn't it? Trina has always hated hospitals, she has always avoided them at all costs. I have to keep hope, I can't stress anymore. Derek and I were flipping through channels on basic cable when the nurse walked in.

"Are you ready to meet your counselor for the next two weeks?"

"Might as well get it over with." I replied.

"Dr. Reid please come in here."

Dr. Reid was very skinny and tall, he had shaggy brown hair and looked too smart for his own good. He was young too, probably in his twenties.

"Hello Ms. Garcia. How are you feeling?"

"Better than I was, but you know still in a hospital so not great."

"Right, of course."

Dr. Reid talked to me for about thirty minutes and had scheduled our next therapy session for the following week.

"I am looking forward to seeing you soon Ms. Garcia."

As far as counselors go, I think I got pretty lucky. He was nice, soft spoken, and I felt pretty comfortable around him.

Derek walked back into the room and turned the T.V back on.

"Handsome I am so appreciative of you being here. But I am worried about you. You haven't slept in three days because of that chair. Go home, get some sleep. I am going home tomorrow, you know I am okay and I am secure. Get some rest. I am worried about you."

"No, I am fine, my but is staying in this chair until you are better and can come home."

"Derek Morgan listen to me. I am better, I feel fine and I am going home in less than 24 hours. Go get some rest, please I am begging you!"

I could see that I had finally gotten through that thick scull of his.

"I am tired, are you sure? I don't mind staying baby."

"I know you don't and I love you for it. Go home hot stuff, I will see you bright and early tomorrow."

"Okay but I swear Pen, I will be here first thing."

"I know you will, now go."

When he left, I turned the TV to 'Criminal Minds' and dozed off.

…..

I heard a noise in my room and assumed it was my dinner. I rolled over, I would wake up and eat it later. Only then I heard a voice.

"Pen?"

I turned around and there she was. In her skinny jeans and oversized t shirt, there was my best friend.

"Hey Treen."

She started crying.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Treen, it's all over."

"I am so sorry I didn't come sooner, I was so scared. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I got scared. You can never do this to me again Penelope Garcia, do you hear me? Never."

"I swear Trina, never again."

"Why Pen? You were doing so well, you were finally moving past the accident. What happened?"

"I can't tell you, and it kills me to say that to you, I think this is the first thing I just can't tell you."

"I get it, let's liven the mood in here a little."

I nodded.

"Trina started talking and before I knew it I was zoning out. I thought about my mom. What did she mean it wasn't my fault? Of course it was my fault. If I would have just stayed at the house dad wouldn't have wanted to drive. Mom called me multiple times, she was begging, there was such fear in her voice. I let her down and she lost her life because of it. Of course it was my fault. Whose fault was it other than mine? I was a horrible daughter. And look at me now, I am an even more horrible girlfriend and friend. I pull this stunt and scare Trina and Derek to death. What was wrong with me? It was my fault. What did my mom mean?

"Pen are you okay? You are probably exhausted. Do you want me to let you get some rest?"

I shook my head.

"I need my best friend. Do you mind sleeping on the couch tonight?"

"I have a better idea."

With that she moved towards me and I scooted over a little. She got in the bed with me. I keep forgetting that I don't take up as much room as I used to. We spent the rest of the night talking about anything and everything. It was just like old times. In that night we were innocent little kids again, dreaming about the future and laughing about the past. We were perfectly innocent and I wanted to stay in that place forever. I felt myself to start to drift off somewhere after talking about me puking on her mom's dress at her fifth birthday party, and sometime before our rendition of "Ice Ice Baby" when we were in middle school.

There was my mom. This time she was clear as day, she was so beautiful from her long, curly blonde hair and her bright red lipstick. She was perfect.

"Mom!" I screamed running towards her. I hugged her for what felt like an hour and finally pulled myself away.

"I miss you so much mommy! I am so sorry for everything."

"Sweetie I told you there was nothing to be sorry for. I meant that. It wasn't your fault, it was your fathers. I have forgiven him. It is all over and okay, I promise you. You have to let this go."

"How? How can you just forgive him?

"Because I love him, just like I love you and always will. Which is why I want you to have a good life, a happy and full life. Move on sweetie, be happy and I am always here looking down on you."

"I love you mom," and with that I hugged her and fell into a deep sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

….

I felt someone kissing my forehead, when I opened my eyes Derek was standing over me and there was a vase of lilies on my bedside table.

"How are you feeling baby girl, are you ready to come home?"

"So ready." I whispered, trying not to wake Trina.

"So I see how it is, you were trying to get rid of me for your girlfriend over there."

"Takes you a while to catch on, huh?"

We both silently laughed. I wasn't too worried about waking Trina up, when we were kids she slept through an earthquake once.

"Why are you here so early?" I asked seeing the clock said 7:30.

"The earliest you can leave is eight and I figured you would want to spend the day at home."

"Aww you are so thoughtful."

"What can I say? Mama taught me right."

We both smiled and he started getting my stuff together.

I attempted to get out of bed without Trina noticing but of course with my luck I heard her start to wake up.

"What in the hell? What time is it?"

"7:30."

"Who is up at this ungodly hour?"

"I'm going home today and Derek wanted me to be able to take full advantage."

"Well isn't that sweet," she said sarcastically. "I'll let you two love birds get to it then." With that she put her shoes on, told me she would call me tomorrow and left.

"Ready to go home my love?"

"I believe I am handsome." And with that I got dressed and helped Derek carry my stuff to the car and checked out of the hospital.

That day Derek had planned a picnic in the park a town away where nobody would recognize us. It was perfect. The best way to distract myself from having to face everyone tomorrow. I kept thinking about my dream about mom. Maybe she was right. I started looking around the park, it was a beautiful day. There was a reason I lived that night. I am here and I want to make my parents proud, not waste my life while they didn't have a choice in keeping theirs. It was time to move on. I needed to, not only for me but for Derek too.

"What you thinking about, gorgeous?"

"Nothing you have to worry about hot stuff, everything feels right for the first time in a long time."

"Hey I thought you should know that people at school have no clue in the real reason you were absent."

"How do you know?"

"Well I didn't tell Trina at school, I told her after at Chuck-E-Cheese so nobody would see or hear us. On top of that I had the principal announce to everyone that you were at your grandparent's house for last funeral preparations and that it might be nice to get you a card from the school in support of your grieving."

"Have I told you lately how much I love you? Thank you so much."

"Anything for you," he said kissing me. And once again thanks to Derek Morgan I had nothing to worry about.


	19. Chapter 19

That entire day was perfect. He was my everything and once again he proved that to me. After the picnic was over we walked around the park for hours. We headed back to our apartment around dinner time. Once we got there, dinner was already prepared and sitting on the counter with a bouquet of roses and candles lit on the table. The table had been decorated with white linen table cloths. Derek made me stay in the kitchen.

"What are you up to you goof? But really Derek this is too much. You spoil me and as much as I love you for it you have been through too much these past few days."

"Would you stop woman? I do this because I love you, because I want to take care of you. I do this because you are the best thing in my life and I never want to lose you."

That's pretty much impossible hot stuff."

"Well good, I'm glad to hear it."

When we finished eating I insisted on helping clean up but he insisted that we worry about it later. He finally led me to the living room; only when we got there, there was a path of lilies leading towards the bedroom. When we walked in the door of the apartment, he snuck up behind me and carried me to the bedroom. There were candles surrounding the room and picture collages of us. They went in order of the timeline of our relationship. Our song (I won't give up by Jason Mraz) was playing in the background. When I turned around to kiss him, he was down on one knee.

"Der…"

"Shhh. Let me get this out. Penelope Garcia, when you entered my life you entered it like a ball of fire. I never thought I would be as lucky as to find someone who makes me this happy. Even though our relationship would be seen as wrong to the public eye, you are the only thing in my heart that always feels right. You are my god given solace and I would be lost without you. Now I know that we cannot be public until you graduate and I also know that you have plans for your life, plans that I wouldn't dream of taking away. Instead I want to join you and walk in our journey together. This is for the future baby girl, I want to propose for you to spend the rest of your life with me and make me the happiest man on this god damn planet. Pen, even if we have to wait years to walk down the aisle, would you say that you will marry me?"

I was crying at this point. "Derek Morgan of course I will marry you. We are forever."

He then put on my finger the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. It was my birthstone entangled with his birthstone, and around the two stones was a tiny boarder made out of small diamonds.

"Derek how… this is too much."

"Nothing is ever too much for you."

With that I kissed him. It amazed me that this man still affected me with butterflies. He led me to the bed and we spent the best night of my life together.


	20. Chapter 20

….

The next morning I had almost forgotten about the proposal until I looked down at my hand and saw the proof. This all seemed unreal. I know I had been through a lot lately but if that is what had to happen to get where I am right now, I think I can finally be at peace. I looked over at Derek who was still sleeping. He always does the nicest things for me, I think I will repay him for once and surprise him with breakfast in bed. With that thought, I quietly got out of the bed and checked the clock. It was 6:30 and Derek has an internal clock for 9, I think I can pull this off. I went to the bathroom and took a quick five minute shower before wrestling with my tangles and putting one of Derek's shirts on. I then made my way to the kitchen and got to work. I pulled out the Bisquick and all the ingredients I would need for the waffles. I decided to make bacon and eggs with them. Once all of the ingredients and kitchen appliances needed were somewhat organized on the counter, I got to work. I found myself slowly humming and dancing around the kitchen as I worked. By the time I finished and the coffee was done brewing it was 8:45. I had just enough time to sneak the tray into our room and wake him up. As I was tiptoeing into the room, Derek ran into me.

"Good morning baby girl."

"Damn you Derek! I was going to wake you up with breakfast in bed."

"Aww how sweet is my goddess?"

"I would be even sweeter, hot stuff, if you didn't beat me to everything."

"I'm sorry Pen, do you want me to go back in bed and wake up again."

"Actually I would love that," I said giggling. "Get your butt back in that bed, Derek Morgan."

He gave me a quick kiss and walked quickly back to bed.

"Take two!" he yelled. I loved how big of a goof he was.

With that I walked into the room, placed the tray above his lap, and leaned in to kiss him "awake". "Good morning hot stuff."

He slowly opened his eyes, stretched his arms above his head, and yawned exaggeratingly.

"Oh baby girl you shouldn't have! I am so surprised! Thank you!"

"You are quite welcome," I said kissing him gently. Only that wasn't enough for him, when I was pulling away he put his arms around my waste and pulled me in closer. Our lips touched again, only this time with more passion. I moaned into the kiss and that gave Derek the perfect time to deepen it. I finally pulled myself away after about five minutes.

"Derek your breakfast."

"Forget the damn breakfast, we have the rest of our lives for breakfast."

He set the tray on the floor and pulled me on top of him.

"I love you future Mrs. Derek Morgan."

I couldn't wait anymore. I tore his clothes off and had a perfect morning.

About an hour later we were heating up the breakfast I had made.

"What's on the agenda today hot stuff?"

"Well since we obviously decided to take the day off of school today, how about we have a lazy day around the house and get ready for school tomorrow?"

"Sounds good to me."

We spent the rest of that day snuggling in front of the electric fire place, drinking coffee and watching movies.

I went back to bed that night feeling okay about the day to come, all because of Derek.

…..

I got up at 6:30 the next morning and jumped in the shower. I threw on a long sleeve shirt with lace that would cover my scars and a pair of skinny jeans. I topped it off with a scarf and a messy bun. Here we go. Derek left first this morning and I followed his lead about ten minutes later. While I was driving, I reached my hand up to my neck where my promise ring and now my engagement ring were hidden behind the scarf. No matter what happens today, I thought to myself, will be okay as long as I have Derek to come home to.

When I got to school, I was pleasantly surprised to see people coming up to me and asking me how my grandparents were. They actually bought the story. During Derek's class, every time he circled the room to help us with our work, he would subtly graze my shoulder. I spent that entire period with goose bumps running down my back and love swelling up in my heart.

For lunch Trina and I decided to go off campus to a café that we used to go to every day after school.

"So how does it feel being back?"

"Good actually, thanks to you and Stacy (our code name for Derek)."

"Good, why didn't you come to school yesterday? I was looking for you all day and when I didn't see you I was worried that something had gone wrong."

I wanted to tell her, of course I did. But I just got Trina back, I can't lose her again because of this.

"Stacy and I were celebrating."

"Oh you were celebrating your coming home from your grandparents?"

"Not exactly. She had a surprise for me, but I don't know if you want to know it."

"Look Pen, I am not going to lose this friendship again. I am completely supportive of whatever you want, I promise."

I took a deep breath and pulled the ring out from under the scarf. Her face went white.

"Is that what I think it is?"

I whispered to her.

"You are looking at the future Mrs. Derek Morgan."

"Wow…"

"Treen are you mad?"

"Are you kidding me? I was worried about the two of you because I didn't think he was serious about you. Of course I am happy for you!"

"Good because I don't think a disapproving maid of honor would make for a happy wedding."

"Oh Pen, thank you so much! I would love to!"

"Good, we don't want to make it official until we both get our feet planted after I start college but I couldn't be happier!"

"Oh Pen, congratulations!"

We spent the rest of lunch filtering through the dream weddings we had planned when we were kids. There was some work to be done, after all we were seven when we planned them. This was by far the best day of my life.

That night I told Derek about lunch and he was thrilled. This was really happening, I was engaged to be married. No matter what happened from here on out I knew I would be okay.

…..

I can hear the band playing in the background I look down and see all white, every detail is perfect. From the lace to the sweetheart neckline. The wedding was outside on the hill where Trina and I would go as kids. It overlooked the entire city and was gorgeous at night. I looked down at the clock and saw that it was 7:55, five minutes and I would be walking down the aisle to be Mrs. Derek Morgan. I looked around and was in awe by the beauty of the lilies lit up by the candles running down the aisle. It was perfect, every detail. I heard Trina tell me it was our cue to go. I took a deep breath and walked up to the edge of the tent that I would exit out of. I felt something wet and slimy on my left hand. I looked up and there was my dad. He was soaked with what looked like river water and he had a bottle of beer in his other hand.

"Hey darling," he slurred. I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Ready?"

I screamed, I screamed louder than I have ever screamed before. I didn't know what I was happening, I felt something holding me. When I finally realized what was happening, I opened my eyes and Derek was holding me. I was soaked in sweat and tears, I couldn't catch my breath.

"Baby what's wrong?"

"I saw my dad."

"Oh baby girl come here."

Derek shushed me and ran his fingers through my hair until I calmed down and slipped into a dreamless sleep. I guess it was going to take a longer time than I realized to be completely okay again.


	21. Chapter 21

The nightmares continued for a few months. It was almost graduation and they finally began to stop. I was so excited for Northwestern. A new place, a fresh start with Derek in a place where we could be us without owing anyone an apology or an explanation. I decided I would major in computer science. I would love to be able to work for the FBI one day and be an Audio- Visual technician one day for something special like the FBI but that was just a pipe dream. However, Derek and I being together wasn't and that was all that mattered. We had already planned it all out. He applied for multiple teaching positions in Evanston and had already gotten accepted for a position in two different schools, one as a French teacher and the other as a Spanish. It was all working out how we had planned. We just had to get through the last two months of school and we would be ready for our new lives.

Trina and I were in a fight again. She had broken up with her boyfriend from Spain. I didn't know they were over and was unknowingly bragging to her about something Derek had done for me that day.

"Shut the hell up Pen, I am so sick of you talking about Derek! That is all you do anymore, the world does not revolve around you two."

"Geez I'm sorry Trina, what is going on with you?"

"Nothing, it's just I am sorry, I know I said I supported you and Derek but I don't. You are making him pick up his entire life for you. You are making him move away from his home and the school he just adjusted to a few years ago in order for you to do what you want. It just seems selfish to me."

"Trina he got a better teaching position over there, it is better for both of us."

"I just don't know how much longer I can keep up your little secret. You have put me in an awkward position and I don't even support the relationship."

"I didn't know you felt that way."

"Well I do. You guys are ridiculous and you need to stop talking to me about him."

"Trina what the hell climbed up your ass this morning? Why are you being such a bitch?"

"I'm the bitch? Please Pen, who's really the bitch here? Who's the one that jumped at the chance to move in with her boyfriend before her parents were even buried? Who's the one that made the man she claimed to love find her committing suicide in his apartment? Who…"

"Shut the hell up Trina, I don't know what is going on with you but I don't deserve this. I am sorry if you are jealous of Derek and I, but that gives you no reason…"

"Jealous? HA! That's a joke. You guys are screwed up and won't last. You know that deep in your heart, just once again you won't admit it and are acting like a three year old who needs to be taken care of."

"Trina it's not my fault that your little player boyfriend in Spain is an asshole and is probably cheating on you and making fun of you to all of his concubines in Spain as we speak, that does not give you an excuse to speak to me like this. I have done nothing wrong."

"I can't believe you just said that, go to hell."

"Screw you."

"Just remember I know your secret and I can easily use it against you."

With that Trina walked away. I didn't recognize my best friend anymore, she had turned cold and bitter. I don't know what happened with the man whore in Spain but whatever it was, it was hitting her hard. I couldn't deal with it anymore, it was obvious over the past few months that Trina and I were growing apart, and we were just prolonging the inevitable. I didn't need this drama in my life, I had Derek and soon I would be moving on to bigger and better things and that is what I needed to focus on.

It has been about a week since our argument and my nerves about her telling the school about Derek and I were starting to pass. Maybe too soon. It was seven weeks from graduation, so close I could feel it. Derek put in his notice and I was finishing my shopping list and budget plan for freshman year. All we had to do was keep the secret for seven more weeks, hell we had lasted almost ten month.

It was a Wednesday when my life changed. I walked into the front doors of the school and all eyes were on me, it was like my parent's death all over again. On the far wall of the hallway was a flyer, when I got closer I saw the picture. There were two people holding hands and leaning in for a kiss while laughing. She was wearing a black long sleeved dress that went down to mid- thigh with a long gold chain necklace sitting on her cleavage. He was wearing a fitted T-shirt with a pair of jeans. They were so happy, it was unreal. Her blonde curls fell perfectly down her back and his dark complexion was model like. It was me and Derek on one of the nights Trina had gone with us to get frozen yogurt. My engagement ring was sitting proud on my left hand. The caption read "Teacher's pet" This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. No we were getting away with it, no one found out. It had been a week since Trina and I stopped talking. What the hell?

Trina walked past me.

"I told you I couldn't keep it a secret forever." She snickered and walked away with a group of people whispering about me. Oh god! Derek! He had left early this morning to finish grading our test before class. I dropped my bag in the middle of the hallway and ran, ran as fast as I could to his office. Only he wasn't there, his desk was cleaned off and the principal was sitting behind his desk.

"Hello Penelope, I suspected I would run into you here."

"Where's Sr. Morgan?"

"He has been asked to resign, effective immediately."

What was he supposed to do? He needed a job before we left for Illinois.

The principal spoke up again,

"Ms. Garcia you should be informed that Derek Morgan is being investigated as we speak and if we find what we expect to find it will be a challenge to find a teaching position anywhere in the US. And as far as how this little affair affects you, well Northwestern has been informed of what you like to do with your teachers and we have let them decide your future at their school, I would expect an email. Oh and as for your future at this school, well we will discuss that after your two week suspension. "

"But… there are only seven weeks left. I need to come to school, I have to get ready for exams and finish my classes up strong. In order to keep my scholarship with Northwestern I have to finish the year off with at least a 3.7 GPA."

"Well maybe you should have thought about that before your little fling. I will see you in my office in two weeks."

My legs were jelly, I robotically made my why to the hall, picked my bag up, and left the building. My life was changed forever and I didn't know what to do about it.


	22. Chapter 22

I got in my car and the next thing I knew I was in front of our apartment. I don't know how I got there, what the traffic was like, if I hit any red lights, I just recall starting the car and being here. I was on autopilot. I finally managed to make my way up to the apartment when I heard slamming. I walked in. Derek was throwing things around, putting them in suit cases and cursing under his breath. It took me a couple of minutes to muster up the courage to inform him of my presence.

"Derek?"

"Get out, get out of my apartment, and get out of my life."

"Derek?"

"No Pen, I told you. I told you we couldn't tell anybody and I told you I had weird feelings about Trina right before that little fight you had. I let you tell Trina because I trusted you, obviously that was a mistake."

"But Derek… how was I supposed to know that she was going to pull a stunt like this? How was I supposed to know that my best friend from first grade would turn around and stab me in the back?"

"Pen, god damn it I can't do this. I love you, I really do but this is too much for me."

"I didn't say anything when you asked me to transfer to Illinois, I didn't say anything when you wanted to tell Trina the truth, I didn't even say anything when I found you unconscious on our living room floor with blood all over you. I just can't do it anymore, I can't keep holding my tongue. I can't keep walking on eggshells around you and pretending like everything is okay. I love you so much, you don't know how much this kills me Pen but I don't think we are going to work out after all. You can keep the rings if you want, they were gifts and I still feel the same way about you that I did when I gave them to you. I just don't have the energy to put into this relationship anymore. We are at completely different places in life and the few years between us has never seemed so far apart. I'm so sorry."

"So what? You are just going to kick me out and then what? Stay in your apartment for the rest of your life and work at a gas station?"

"No, after spending the past hour on the phone, I convinced a small private school just outskirts of Ohio to give me a chance at a teaching position. I leave at the end of the week."

"What am I supposed to do Derek? I have nothing, no one but you."

"I'm sorry Penelope, you are going to have to stay with your aunt until graduation. I have already called her, she has agreed."

"Stop treating me like a damn baby, you don't get to make this decision for me."

"Damn it Pen, I wasn't going to leave you out on the streets, this was the only option."

"No, this isn't the only option Derek. Stop being a damn coward and fight for us."

"You mean like you did when you tried to commit suicide?"

"Why? Why are the two people I love the most completely screwing me over?"

"Shit Pen… that just came out. I am so sorry, you know I don't blame you."

"No Derek, you know what? If you want to leave, leave. I can't fight for someone who doesn't want me. This was all a lie, Trina was right. You just wanted a piece of high school ass to have fun with until the end of the year. Well fine, you got what you wanted. And as for these," I said undoing my necklace with the rings, "Well as for these they are worthless to me." I threw the jewelry at him, grabbed one of my bags he had conveniently finished packing for me, and slammed the door on my way out. Before I let myself lose control I called my aunt and let her know it was a false alarm and I didn't need to stay with her after all. I knew where I was going, I got in my car and drove.

Once I got to the hill I let myself lose it. I had no one, nothing, and all of my plans were falling apart at the seams. What was I supposed to do? Hide out on the hill for two weeks? It was all over, but I couldn't try to end it again myself. I couldn't represent my family that way. My dad killed both himself and my mom, I couldn't be him. I have my life for a reason, even though I don't know what that reason is anymore. Besides Derek was just upset. I am sure that tomorrow he will regret the break up and we will figure this out together, like we were always meant to do. We knew it would get out eventually, we just predicted it wouldn't be until we were both far away from that school, and the titles of teacher and student would not explain any aspect of our relationship. Only thanks to Trina we didn't make it that far. I hated her, I never thought I would say that I hated my best friend but I do. How could she be so bitter? How could she do this to me?

I numbly cried my way to sleep, I knew what I had to do tomorrow but for tonight I allowed myself to be somber.

The next morning I woke up at about six, Trina would be waking up for school in about twenty minutes. I drove to her house. I knocked on the door and there she was.

"What do you want?"

"No the real question is what do you want? What did you want out of this whole scenario Trina? To hurt your best friend? To get revenge for something I am unaware of? To break Derek and I up for no reason? What the hell was going through that bitch of a brain of yours when you decided to ruin any chance of a future that I had?"

"You ruined it for yourself Pen, I was just helping you realize that your actions have consequences."

"Screw you," I was beyond myself at this point and before I knew what was happening I slapped Trina across the face.

I saw blood form on her lip before I fell a sting on my cheek. I wasn't going to do this, I was not about to have a pathetic cat fight with my ex best friend on her front porch.

"Look Trina I am sorry I slapped you, I just don't get it. What in the hell could I have done in mere hours that made you hate me so much? We were fine that day, had spent the entire day together, got coffee, were going to go to a movie, and bam you turn into a different person and end our 12 years of friendship."

"I can't tell you."

"You can't tell me what I did to make you hate me?"

"Damn it, Pen you didn't do anything."

"Then what in the hell has all of this been about?"

"Pen I didn't tell you but he came to visit me a few weeks ago."

"Who…"

"Wait the Spanish gigolo?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well I just kind of wanted a private thing with him, it was the first time we had seen each other in person since last summer."

"What happened?"

"Pen I am pregnant."


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey y'all, I hope you have enjoyed my story! This is the last chapter. There may be an epilogue chapter but I am still debating. Please comment and favorite! Thank everyone so much for all of the reviews! :)**

Pregn…. What the hell?

"Trina are you sure, have you gone to the doctor? What the heck?"

"I haven't gone to the doctor but we didn't use any protection and I am 2 weeks late."

"You need to be sure."

"Pen it's my body, I promise you I am sure."

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. What are you going to do?"

"Well the day that I snapped at you was the day I told him I thought I was. He broke up with me and said it was my fault and my problem. Needless to say he doesn't want to be involved in any way."

"And your parents?"

"Well they don't know, but once when I was a kid my mom was watching 16 and pregnant and told me that if that ever happened to me, I would be out of the house faster than you can say baby. I can't keep it Pen, I just can't."

"Stop, do not make any irrational decisions right now. That is a human being Treen, you need to think about this and the first step is a doctor's appointment to see if you are actually pregnant."

"I know you are right about needing to see if this is real but honestly I can't have this baby."

"What about adoption?"

"If I go through a pregnancy I am not going to have a place to live Trina and unless you and your fiancé can get over what I did and give me a place to stay I am out of options."

"Don't bring Derek into this."

"I'm sorry," she said rolling her eyes.

"No Trina, you can mess with me all you want, I am used to it after all of these years. But I cannot forgive what you did to Derek. He has done nothing but love me and try to help us salvage our friendship and you completely stabbed him in the back. I am not okay with that, and look at you, you can't even get your head out of your own ass long enough to care about other people. I am sorry you are pregnant, but that was not my fault and it was not Derek's fault, and just because you were irritated by our happiness does not mean you had the right to do what you did. You were ridiculous and selfish and I feel bad for that baby."

I know I went too far, I know I hurt her but I couldn't take it anymore. My entire life it was all about Trina, what she wanted. It was usually because I didn't have the self-esteem to care but that has changed. She hurt me unjustly and it was about time that someone say something to her about the way she treats people. I was expecting her to get mad at me and go off but she didn't, the face I had seen a million times of hate and pride was slowly breaking down. It left someone scared and alone and it broke my heart to see her this way. She hurt me and she hurt Derek but I think she finally gets it. I think she finally sees what she has been doing wrong. I needed to snap myself out of it. It was okay for me to forgive her but it was not okay for me to be her friend again. I would not choose her over Derek and I would not allow her pregnancy to be justification for the lives she has ruined.

"I am sorry you are hurting Trina, I will email you the names of some adoption agencies but that is all I can do for you. In my opinion you should not take away this baby's life, but give it to a family who will love it. But overall it is your decision and I can't be a part of it, not anymore. Bye Trina."

With that I walked away, I would not give into her tricks, I would not let her run my life anymore. I needed to figure things out for myself and even if that meant living in my car and showering at the Y, I would do it. I needed to do this on my own and for myself. Derek would come around eventually, he had to. We are meant to be together and I will never give up on that.

My next step was to apply for a job. I went to every place in town that was hiring, I was going to use my suspension to study and work. I got a call back from Angus Barn, they needed a temporary hostess while theirs was on vacation in the Bahamas. This was perfect, afterwards I would find somewhere more permanent and part time.

….

The two weeks were moving like molasses, I spent all of my time studying, talking to Derek's voicemail, and working. It was only three days into it and I was already ready to go back to school. Work was good, I learned a lot, made enough money to do laundry at the laundry mat and for food. I was taking showers at the Y and all was good. There was no way I would stay at my Aunt's house, that meant giving up on Derek and admitting that it was over. That wasn't an option. It was the day Derek was supposed to leave for Ohio, I had to try to stop him even if he didn't go for it. I went to the airport that morning and sat at the baggage check. I had no idea when his flight was but I would wait here as long as it took. I played candy crush on my phone and people watched to pass the time. I was hoping that people watching would lighten the mood but it didn't, my mind just spun over all of the possible things I could say to Derek. I thought about how I felt, how to approach him, what he would say. All of the possible scenarios scared me, but not doing this scared me even more.

After about seven hours of sitting in the airport, I looked up from level 164 and there he was, waiting in line. He didn't see me, and I just stared at him for a while. It took me back to our trip, that day was the first day of the rest of my life and I didn't even know it. I would never forget what he was wearing that day and I would never forget what he was wearing today. He had on a pair of jeans and a brown t-shirt that showed his arm muscles off. It was nothing special, but to me he had never looked more perfect. I had to do this now. He just got his boarding pass, and was moving towards the Starbucks. He saw me.

Our eyes met and stuck like glue to each other. We didn't speak, we didn't move closer, we just stared at each other. I felt tears start to develop in my eyes but did my best to cease them. I had to do this and I had to do this right. I slowly walked up to him. He still just stood there and stared at me.

"Pen what are you…"

"Please just let me talk Derek, please. You know I thought for the past eight hours of what I would say to you, how I would be able to get you to understand what you mean to me. All I could think about was that day in this very airport before we left for Spain. You were perfect to me and still are. Derek since that day you have been the most important thing in my life, and I can promise you that whether or not you get on that plane today, you will always be the most important person in my life. I was thinking, I was thinking about all the ways to convince you to be with me but I realized I couldn't. I couldn't ask you to sacrifice anymore for me, I love you too much. You were always there for me this year Derek, thank you for that. If it was not for you, I wouldn't be alive right now."

I started crying.

"I'm sorry, I swore to myself I wouldn't cry." I stopped the tears and kept talking. "Derek thank you, thank you for the love you put into my life. Thank you for showing me that I can be loved and that someone as amazing as you can love me. You will always be the first man that I loved and I will always love you. You have a huge piece of my heart Derek Morgan and I don't want it back. I want you to think about me and remember all of the amazing time we have had, I want you to be able to think back to us and not regret any of it. I am so sorry if that is not the case. I am sorry because I will, when I think about you I am going to think about the nights we stayed up talking, about our food fights and witty banter, about the night that you carried me into your bedroom and asked me to marry you, I am going to remember a man that has so much love and compassion in his heart that he took my breath away every day. A man that I will never forget and a man that I will regret losing every day of my life. I am sorry Derek for everything. I love you and always will." I kissed his cheek and walked away. I let myself start to cry as I walked out of the airport doors, towards the parking garage. This was it, it was over and he was gone.

I took my time getting back to the hill, I needed to clear my mind. I drove to our apartment building and just sat in my car and cried. I thought back to all of the amazing times I had in this apartment and how this place saved my life. I fell asleep and dreamt of Derek and the way my life could have planned out differently.

…

I woke up to my phone ringing, there was a crazy thunderstorm outside. I looked down and it was an unknown number. Not again, please not again.

"Hello?"

"Where do you get off doing that?"

"Derek?"

"Where do you get off giving me a speech like that and just walking away?"

"I'm sorry but you could have stopped me, you could have told me how you felt but you didn't, you just stood there and watched me walk away. I thought you had already made your mind up about hating me."

"Hating you? Pen you have a damn twisted idea of what hate is."

"How was your flight?"

"How was my flight? Are you kidding me? Pen who cares about the damn flight? I am talking to you about us."

"What us Derek? We don't exist anymore." I failed to hold back my tears.

"Baby girl we will always exist, we happened and I will not regret one moment of it."

"Can we keep in touch Derek? Can we talk on the phone, write letters, and at least be friends. I just assumed that since you didn't return my calls or stop me at the airport that you didn't want anything to do with me"

"No we can't be friends."

"Oh… okay I understand. Why are you calling me then?"

I heard a knock on my window. I thought I was seeing things. I got out of the car and hung up my phone.

"We can't be friends Penelope, we are so much more than that. We are best friends, we are lovers, we are soon to be husband and wife, and we are everything to me. I didn't call you because I was an idiot, because I was scared, and because I didn't realize I was going to be in so much pain after letting you go. I couldn't face you, I couldn't face what I had done, I felt like such a jack ass."

"Don't you dare call yourself that, ever."

With that I kissed him.

"Baby girl I love you so much."

"I love you so much more Derek Morgan."


	24. Epilogue

*Four years later*

I heard the band warming up outside; this was it. Derek and I's day. I was so nervous, the only thing I could think was don't sweat and don't trip. It was a small and elegant venue. Only Derek's old college roommate and his wife were there as witnesses. We decided to have it in Illinois and to start new memories away from the town that caused so much drama in our relationship. We are having it in the Illinois Mountains. We drove up here last night, set up two enclosed tarps to get ready in, and we have refreshments and cookout food for the after party. It was perfect; Derek was perfect. I heard the music playing from the truck. It switched from Marry me by Train to A Thousand Years by Christina Perry which indicated it was time for my entrance.

I started down the aisle; once I got outside nothing mattered. I just looked into those beautiful brown eyes of his and knew everything was right. It didn't matter how I looked, if I fell, if I was a sweaty pig. All that mattered was that we were there together uninterrupted and full of love and lust for each other that would last forever. This man was mine forever and there hasn't been one day that has passed when that fact hasn't blown my mind. He is a dream come true, my dream come true. Here we go, the end of the path.

The music stopped and Chris (his college friend) started. We didn't do traditional vows, it just didn't feel personal enough. He went first.

"Pen I am not really good at things like this so bear with me. First of all, damn you are gorgeous mama' you are amazing. How did I find someone so perfect for me?" He started choking up and doing a terrible job trying to hide it. "Pen you are my best friend, you are my partner in crime, you are my rock, you are everything. We have been to hell and back for the past five years and i regret none of it. I told you from that very first day that I was in if you were and I meant it. Here we are; in it forever and I would want nothing different. Baby girl thank you so much for being you and being patient and loving enough to choose me as your other half. I promise to love you every day, to never leave your side, to treat you like the goddess you are, and to fall in love with you more every day; it's impossible for me not to. I love you Penelope Garcia and I always will."

It was my turn to cry and read; the crying part was already done.

"Derek Morgan, we're here. If someone had told me my freshman year that I would have gotten the hunky Spanish teacher and the man of my dreams to even glance at a girl like me, I would have told them they were absolutely insane. You have been the only person in my dreams for so long, and now it's like I am constantly in a daze. I am the luckiest girl on earth. Thank you for being you, hot stuff. You are strong, committed, honest, loving, can make me laugh, and the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on. You are a package of perfection and I would be lost without you. Derek I promise to fall in love with you more every day, to support your aspirations no matter what they may be, to be a loving, committed, and devoted wife always and forever. I promise to annoy you every day but in the best way possible. I love you Derek Morgan."

Chris continued.

"Do you Dere…?"

"Yes," Derek interrupted, "I do."

"Do you Pen…?"

"Yes, I do."

I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.

With those words and with the kiss that followed I knew, I knew that no matter what was ahead of me I could get through it with this man by my side. The love and devotion we have to each other is enough to last a life time and enough to make me ever-afterly happy.


End file.
